


Parrots, Parkour, Pirates, Punk, and Perfect Strangers

by Ghost_Owl



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Social Media, Twitter, another smushy romcom, even in modern AU they're both still hot messes, multiple forms of social media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24861430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghost_Owl/pseuds/Ghost_Owl
Summary: In which Anakin is having a rough day, Obi Wan just wanted to help out the cute stranger and also maybe impress him, someone films their encounter and it goes viral on Twitter.  Now the entire internet wants these two to get married.Too bad neither got the other's name...
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 53
Kudos: 659





	Parrots, Parkour, Pirates, Punk, and Perfect Strangers

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a verrrry late present to the lovely tumblr user @gffa who asked me if I could do a modern AU! 
> 
> Here it is! I had fun writing it and I hope y'all like it!

Anakin was having a shitty day.

Literally.

This bared repeating, the day started with _literal_ shit.

Now, one could consider this entirely Anakin’s own fault for leaving the box of blackberries on the table this morning while R2 was having his jailbreak time.

Word to the wise: learn how to properly say no to your friends, even if they were your ex-girlfriend who had shown up one night begging you to please temporarily house the battered ball of grey feathers she had rescued because you were lonely anyway.

Thus, was how he had ended up with R2— an African Grey Parrot, according to Google —who didn’t speak besides beeps and whistles like an enthusiastic computer, loud screams of alarm seemingly just to make Anakin jump, blistering swear words spoken in the most high pitched squeaky helium voice imaginable, and the number-letter sequence “R - 2 - D - 2” in the same squeak.

R2 had been living with him for about a year now, and while he was most certainly _not_ lonely, he had grown to like the little bastard, and when he had come back into the kitchen after an unexpected phone call, seeing R2 having helped himself to almost the entire box of berries had set him into a panic.

Seeing the smelly mess that looked far smellier and messier than anything that had ever came out of his bird before the following hour had solidified said panic along with R2’s irritated bleeping noises.

The internet said blackberries were fine for parrots, but it also said fruit seeds were toxic, and R2 had eaten nearly a full box of them, and that amount of shit _couldn’t_ be normal, and Anakin had every right as a responsible pet owner to be worried, okay?

So, off to the vet it would be today, thank fuck this was a weekend and Anakin didn’t have work. Except, because life was kind to him like that, he currently did not have a car because of other asshole driver reasons.

Anakin also did not have patience, so rather than bum a ride off of a friend, he decided to sneak R2 onto the city bus.

R2 had squawked and called him a bitch, but he had stayed remarkably still perched on the arm stuffed underneath Anakin’s large, concealing trenchcoat as they made it on the bus, which worried Anakin even further at the easy and completely out of character compliance.

One particularly awkward ride later in which a trio of elderly women gave Anakin the stink eye from the running muffled swears and beeping, Anakin had been informed that the entire ordeal had been for naught, as the vet assured him that the excess defecation was just from eating so many berries, and as long as Anakin took him home and adjusted his diet temporarily to the list written down, R2 should be back to normal in a couple of days.

Fine, good, R2 was okay, no harm done but an outrageous vet bill and one box less of blackberries, Anakin was ready to just go home and forget the entire thing. Once more though, Fate decided a joke was in order, and halfway through the bus ride home, R2 had decided to let loose one of his louder shrieks of alarm for no reason whatsoever and alert the whole bus to his presence.

The bus driver had gotten involved, and Anakin hadn’t had a chance to explain before R2 stuck his head out of the coat and told the driver to go fuck himself.

Anakin had promptly dove out the door. It was a nice day. Walking home halfway across the city would be good for him, despite the cool, strong wind threatening to sweep pedestrians off their feet.

Still, his coat had been chosen more for parrot-hiding rather than warmth, so Anakin had been forced to uncover R2 and let him sit on his shoulder with his bird harness leashed to the wrist of his fake hand in order for Anakin to wrap the coat tighter around himself to shield himself from the chill.

“You know I was worried about you, dickhead,” Anakin muttered to R2 as they walked, shrinking into his coat collar at all the eyes on the tall man in the sweeping dark coat and the bird on his shoulder. “Being as quiet as you were. Couldn’t have kept your mouth shut until we got back home?”

R2 dug his claws tighter into Anakin’s shoulder as the wind buffeted them fiercely, making the clicking and whistling noises Anakin recognized as demands for food.

“Oh really? Those berries weren’t enough for you, you little thief?”

A light nip to his ear. “R 2 D 2.”

Anakin rolled his eyes. “Fine. Let’s see what the vet wrote down that I could give you— _shit!_ ” As soon as he had taken the folded paper the vet had given him out of his pocket, the wind swept in and snatched it out of his fingers. Anakin couldn’t make a proper lunge for it without risking knocking R2 off his shoulder, so all he could do was watch in despair as the paper floated up and away and over the edge of a rooftop to his left.

_You gotta be shitting me right now._

“DICKNUTS!” R2 bellowed from Anakin’s shoulder, flapping his wings wildly and drawing more attention from passerby 

“No no no no no!” Anakin made an aborted movement towards the wall the paper had disappeared over, but it appeared to be a private residence, so he paused, debating whether he should honestly try and knock on the door and ask whoever answered if they would kindly retrieve his shitty parrot paper from their roof.

A random guy next to him had apparently seen the entire thing and gave a mournful whistle. “Bad luck, bro. I don’t think that counts as littering at least.”

Anakin rounded on the man, drawing himself up to his full height. “ _Littering?!_ That paper contains important medical information!” he spat, jabbing a finger into the frightened man’s face. Was he perhaps overreacting about a tiny leaf of paper that basically amounted to _Give bird more water, monitor for future shitstorms_? 

No, of course not, Anakin was never overdramatic.

He was simply having an awful day, and if someone wanted to be a wiseass about littering then they could _deal_ with—

“I’m sorry,” a new, smooth voice cut in from behind Anakin. “Did you say that paper was medical related?”

Anakin whirled around, ready to rain hell down on someone else who apparently thought they could judge his life. “ _Yes,_ it— uh.”

The beauty of the man in front of him stole away any words he could have possibly come up with.

Dressed to the nines in a so-dark-blue-it-was-almost-black suit complete with a matching bowtie and shiny black shoes, the man had artfully tousled tawny hair, a matching neatly trimmed beard, and the most stunning crystal grey eyes Anakin had ever seen in his life. He had what looked to be a dark charcoal coat slung over one arm, and he was raising his other arm to gesture up over the rooftops. “That paper you lost, was it truly that important?”

God, he looked genuinely concerned. Also, that accent was hot. Anakin could quite possibly cry. “Yeah,” he mumbled, not wanting to tell the pretty man he was making a fuss over instructions for lessening parrot poop. “But I don’t see how I can—“

“Right.” The man nodded decisively. He gave the building a brief, appraising look, before thrusting his coat at Anakin. “Hold this, please.”

Anakin would have been just the tiniest bit ashamed at letting the man’s crisp command make his hands take the proffered coat with little more than an “Um?” but the man was already turning and crossing the street.

“Wait!” Anakin called. “Where are you going?”

* * *  
Obi Wan was rather enjoying his walk. The suit he had pulled out of the closet for maybe the third time in his entire life still fit well enough, but the thick wool offered no space to vent heat, so making the trip in the nipping early spring breeze to meet Quinlan by foot was more refreshing than uncomfortable.

He had noticed the figure walking in front of him in the long, billowing black coat and the apparent bird on his shoulder, but hadn’t thought much on it, the city was a strange place, but then a piece of paper flew out of the figure’s hands and up onto a nearby rooftop, and with a cry of dismay, the figure revealed themself as a handsome young man with golden hair and lovely eyes.

Obi Wan had edged closer to where the man was now swearing and stalking in front of the building, just in time to hear him snapping at another person that the paper he had lost was an important medical document. He really was quite stunning, Obi Wan observed, looking at how the sunlight shone off his hair, and how the all black getup just emphasized the colors in his hair and dark rimmed eyes that proved to be a deep blue.

 _Well,_ Obi Wan thought. He checked his watch. There was definitely time before he needed to meet Quin. And Obi Wan would hardly be a good person if he let a possible life or death medical-related incident worsen when he was in a position to help— which, he was. It had been a while, and there was a decent chance he could seriously injure himself trying to impress this pretty boy, but he did know a way to help.

So Obi Wan slid into the conversation, got those shining eyes on him— the bird giving him the evil eye from over the man’s shoulder was a bit unnerving, but Obi Wan could work with that —and determined that yes the paper held medical information and yes it was up on the building roof. 

Good.

Obi Wan examined the building. He had done far more difficult in his youth, and right now he could see at least three points that could get him where he needed to be.

Handing off his coat to the man, who seemed more than a bit confused and looked far more than a bit adorable with his open, pouting lip, Obi Wan walked off across the street to get a running start.

Hopefully he still remembered how to do it.

Giving the building one last once over, planning it out in his head beforehand, Obi Wan waited for a lull in the traffic and then took off in a sprint across the street, past the still-stammering pretty man, and shoved off with his left foot to launch himself through the air at the first floor window ledge halfway up. He hit it with his right foot, ignoring how his muscles burned in protest, using his hands on the windowpanes as leverage to push up and grab for the edge of the first roof of the building.

He made it, fingers stinging and muscles _really_ liking his out of practice body trying to hoist itself up into a pull-up, but with a kick of his— good, expensive, oh dear, maybe he hadn’t thought this through, he was going to a _wedding_ —shoes against the brick for support, he was levying himself up onto the first roof level.

Dimly below, he could hear the pretty man chanting “oh my god, oh my _god,_ what are you—“ along with several other shouts, but he knew he couldn’t stop and lose momentum; he was already growing winded and he still needed to get up to the top roof and find his way down again.

As soon as he pushed up fully onto the first roof, Obi Wan was jumping again for the fancy brick decal ringing the edge of the second wall that would take him to the top, hooking the thin line of the brick with now very pained fingers and kicking off the wall again to help hoist up to the very top.

Embarrassingly, Obi Wan’s good dress shoes slipped on the wall and for a moment, he was afraid he’d fall, before he caught himself back on the brick filigree and pushed up again, this time catching the lip of the roof and managing to bring his feet up to the decal and boost himself the rest of the way.

At the top, Obi Wan basked in the sunshine and caught his breath. He hadn’t done any serious free running in many years, and his body was absolutely going to take him to task for this little stunt tomorrow or the day after, but now, he was on a mission. Turning around to see a group of people gathered below and all talking excitedly, Obi Wan was only focused on the man in the black coat, gazing up at him with wide eyed astonishment that felt warmer than the sun on Obi Wan’s back.

The man’s mouth moved, and Obi Wan couldn’t hear the exact wording, but the general sounding of _”What the hell?”_ was easy enough to parse out. 

Obi Wan smiled, gave a little bow, then held up a finger to signal for a moment and turned to search the rooftop for the yellow paper— he had seen the flash of yellow as it slipped out of the pretty man’s hands —quickly eyeing it pinned to the edge of an air vent. Hurrying over, Obi Wan picked it up, refolded it while dutifully not reading the private medical content, and went back over to the edge of the roof and waved it triumphantly at the man down below.

The man’s jaw dropped even further open.

Obi Wan felt the smile tugging his mouth even wider, before the reality of his predicament dawned on him. The longer he was up here, the more attention he would bring to himself, and he was quite certain this could count as trespassing on private property. But how would he get down…

Deciding, Obi Wan put the paper between his teeth and moved back to the edge of the roof, turning and crouching at the end before swinging off the side and letting his one remaining arm on the roof edge catch his fall. He dropped down the last few feet afterwards, ran across the lower roof, tried to drop down the same way, only for his damned dress shoes to slip more severely down the last wall, causing him to do an emergency push outwards instead of upwards, pivoting in the air and attempting to land on both feet but succeeding in a gracefully stumbled crouch at the feet of the man with the parrot.

He looked up into utterly dumbstruck blue eyes, and, Obi Wan decided, the view from down here wasn’t terribly bad at all.

* * *  
The man scaled a building.

The man just _scaled a fucking building._

For Anakin.

Anakin had been too stunned to do anything as the man charged back across the street and hit the side of the wall, and all he could do as he watched the— _very nice_ —figure scramble its way up the side of the building, all that was able to come out of his mouth was a repeated “oh my _god_.”

The man had reached the top of the building, turned, and backlit by the sunlight like an angel come to earth, had bowed directly to Anakin, disappeared, then returned triumphantly wielding the paper. There was barely a second for Anakin to wonder how the hell this guy was getting back down before the man was already quickly and fluidly shimmying back down the walls, easy as you please.

This time, Anakin’s brain had even been able to spare some energy to observe how nice the man’s ass looked in that suit.

Now, though, the man was crouched at Anakin’s feet, staring up at him with a playful glint in those bright eyes and the paper that had started it all clutched between white teeth.

Anakin’s mouth worked open and closed, trying to find something polite to say that wasn’t _That might have been the hottest thing anyone’s done for me in my life,_ but the man was already rising to his feet, brushing nonexistent dust off his fancy suit, and taking the paper from his mouth to hand to him. “I believe this is yours? Sorry I had to put it in my mouth, I needed both hands to climb down.”

 _Wow, his voice is really nice!_ Anakin thought, which was probably why his brain decided to combine that observation with acknowledgement of the fancy suit and make his first words to the man, “Are you like, James Bond or something?”

He immediately snapped his mouth closed again, feeling his face heat, but the handsome man’s crooked grin was widening to flash shiny teeth again as he laughed, light and warm. “Or something,” he agreed, holding out the paper again for Anakin to take.

Anakin was careful not to let his fingers brush the man’s as he took it, remembering his manners this time. “Thank you,” he said quietly, pocketing the page again and brushing a rogue strand of hair behind his ear. He kept his fake hand stuffed firmly in the other pocket “Seriously, you did not need to do…” He paused, gesturing haphazardly at the building behind them. “Any of… whatever that was.”

The man huffed a small laugh this time. “Parkour. Or free running, if you like. I used to be rather decent at it, but it’s been a while.” He leaned down to examine ruefully what Anakin could now see were scuff marks on his nice shoes.

“No, no that was perfect,” Anakin rushed to say, slamming his mouth shut _again_ at sounding like such a gushy sop. “I mean—“

Sliver eyes twinkled. “Well then, I’m happy to know I could use my skills to assist someone in need. I’d hate to see whatever medical information was on there lost.”

Anakin felt ready to burrow inside his coat at this. This guy could have broken his neck trying to get to that paper because he thought it was _important_ and…

“It was just for my parrot,” he mumbled, breaking eye contact.

“Tell your parents I was glad to help,” the man urged, and Anakin felt even _worse_.

“No, _parrot_ ,” Anakin said loudly, forcing himself to meet the man’s eyes again and gesturing to R2 who had stayed suspiciously quiet again during the entire thing.

The man’s eyes narrowed in puzzlement, cocking his head to examine R2. “The bird? It was for…?”

Anakin coughed, ducking his head once more. “Yeah, he’s had stomachaches and…”

The man’s coat, which Anakin absently remembered he was still holding, buzzed. “Oh. I think you’ve got something in—“

“Yes, here, I’ll—“ The handoff of the coat was much more brisk and awkward than the paper, and this time the man’s warm fingers slid against the back of Anakin’s real hand and sending an electric shock all the way up his arm. 

The man fished out a phone and checked it, frowning. Anakin watched the dip in his forehead as he did. Even that was still attractive, though he liked it much better when the man was smiling.

“Ah, I’m afraid I must go,” the man said with a thumb over his shoulder, smiling apologetically. “I’ve a wedding to get to.”

 _Oh. Wedding…_ Anakin’s heart plummeted into his shoes and he could feel the smile on his face stiffening, but the man wasn’t paying him much mind as he slipped his phone back in his pocket and gave his immaculate suit a last brush over.

 _Of course he’s with someone, of course they want to marry him. Look at him._

“Hopefully it doesn’t look _too_ much like I’ve been climbing private property for charming young men,” the man mused, sending Anakin into another mental spiral of internal screaming.

_’Charming?!’_

At last, sky colored eyes looked up to meet Anakin’s again and he gave another of those devastating smiles. “Well, I’m off. I hope your friend feels better, and I’m glad again that I could help.”

He then turned to Anakin’s parrot and _waved_ at him with a little finger, and Anakin was going to die, this was too much, and now the man was backing away and waving at Anakin, who hurried to wave back and continued waving like a dumbass as the man turned around and disappeared around a corner.

Anakin stayed there, watching where he left for a moment, before letting the loud groan that had been building in his throat release as he turned around and dragged both hands down his face in frustration.

An extremely attractive stranger had just saved his shitty parrot’s diet plan, and Anakin had just made a complete fool out of himself. Again.

“Damn.” R2 spoke up from next to him.

Anakin sighed, reaching up and letting the bird nibble on his fingers. “Damn is right, buddy. Damn is right.”

* * *  
Obi Wan walked away, not entirely sure if the rush of energy making his veins hum was coming from the rush of free running again, or from the handsome young man he had just helped out.

Or, his _bird?_

Obi Wan shook his head, wishing more than anything that he could have stuck around and asked— about the bird, for the man’s number, details to be determined —and that Quinlan hadn’t chosen that particular moment to text him asking his status, causing Obi Wan to remember that he had a prior engagement as a plus one to attend to.

Sighing, Obi Wan shot another sheepish glance at his scuffed up shoes. Fortunately, it wasn’t like anyone was going to be looking at him; he wasn’t in the wedding party, hell, he didn’t even know the happy couple. Quin had simply needed a date, and Obi Wan wasn’t one to turn down an evening with a good friend and an open bar.

His muscles ached— oh, he was so out of practice. That awkward scramble back down the wall had been embarrassing —and he would certainly be feeling this in at least his knee tomorrow. Obi Wan realized he was just going to have to accept that these aches and the scuffed shoes would likely be the only reminders he would ever have of one of the strangest and yet most enjoyable encounters he had ever had.

In his pocket, his phone buzzed again, and Obi Wan tried to focus on how he was going to watch other people be happy and in love instead, but try as he might, he couldn’t get those wide blue eyes out of his head.

* * *  
_**galaxies away… (✓)**_  
_@Spectral_Owl_

Y’all we just wanted to film the guy in black walking around with a parrot like a goth pirate. Instead we got a love story?!? PLS WATCH THE FULL VIDEO! ;_;

**Video Description:**

[We cut in to two voices laughing as a blurry phone camera zeroes in on a tall blonde man in a billowing black coat, black shirt, black jeans, and a grey bird on his shoulder walking down the sidewalk.

“Look at him!” one voice coos. “That’s so cute, I want one.”

“The bird or…”

“Shut _up!_ ” More giggling. “I could take care of a bird.”

“Your cat would eat it.”

“No! …okay yeah, fine. What kind of bird is it?”

“I dunno, look it up?”

“I can’t, I’m filming the bird. I think it’s a parrot. I want that parrot. Or that guy, actually.”

“ _Nice._ Why does he even have it?”

“Uh… as a pet? It’s on a leash on his shoulder. Maybe it’s going for a walk? A flight? I don’t know, bird exercise.”

 _”Bird exercise”_ is said sarcastically. Then, “Is he a witch? He’s in all black and he has an animal friend.”

“Nah, I think he’s just goth. With a bird.”

“But don’t goths keep like, black birds? Ravens, that kinda shit? Why isn’t the bird black?”

Loud snickering. “Oh my _god,_ you can’t just ask why the bird’s not black!”

“I hate you so much.”

“Shh, leave Goth Pirate Man and his bird alone.”

_”Goth Pirate Man?”_

“Yeah, shut up, it’s because pirates have— oh no, what was that?”

The camera, which has been following the man gradually walking closer, now blurs as we see the man trying to lunge for something small and yellow as the wind whisks it out of his hands and up and over the rooftop to the right.

“Ah, shit, bad luck, Goth Pirate…”

“Oh shit, he seems really upset about it.”

“Yeah, yeah, oh, look now there’s another guy, ooh, fancy suit. Damn, he’s hot too.”

“Didn’t you literally just say—“

“Shh, don’t kinkshame me, look, he’s gonna—“

_”Kinkshame?”_

“I think fancy man’s gonna help Goth Pirate get the thingy back, look he’s handing him his coat— wait, what?”

The camera zooms in on the auburn haired man in the suit leaving behind the confused man in black with his coat and walking across the street.

“What is he— why does he look like he’s gonna take a running start across the— hooooly _shit._ ”

“Broooooo.”

The audio is garbled with excited yelling as the bearded man sprints across the street and directly up the building.

“Who is he, fucking Spider-Man?”

“Nah, shit, this is way cooler, Spider-Man had powers, this is—“

“Wooooah, he’s on the fucking roof. He’s literally on the roof and he’s _waving_.”

“That’s hot.”

“Shhh— oh my god, look at Goth Pirate’s face.”

“That’s also kinda cute.”

“Hey look, Fancy Man found something, he’s waving it!”

“Is that Goth Pirate’s thing?”

“I think it is— oh shit, look, he’s coming down.”

The camera zooms in on the suited man quickly slipping back down the building.

“He’s seriously fucking doing that— ohmygodpleasedon’tfall.”

There’s twin sighs of relief when the man leaps off and lands in a crouch in front of the man in black, staring up at him with wide eyes.

“Not gonna lie, that looks kinda gay.”

“Shit, look at Goth Pirate, he looks like he wants to marry him, oh my god, this is too cute.”

“He’s on one knee, fuck, I’ll marry him if Goth Pirate doesn’t.”

The camera watches the two men talking and smiling softly.

“Gaaaaaay.”

“That is FLIRTING oh my god ask for his fucking number!”

“Who?”

“Either???”

“Oh noooo, look, he’s walking away.”

“Look at that fucking dorky wave.”

“Look at that fucking _face_ ”

The camera alternates between the man in the suit walking away and the man with the bird staring after him, open longing and astonishment clear on his eyes.

“That man is in _love_.”

“God, me too, I’m gonna cry.”

The camera zooms in on the man in the coat as his face crumples into one of adorable embarrassment, turning around and running his hands down his face.

“Awww no, dude, you missed your chance!”

“This is sadder than fucking Romeo and Juliet, bro.”

“Ah, damn, he’s walking away too.”

“So long, Gay Goth Pirate.”]

**End Of Video**

_**44.8K** Retweets **186K** Likes_  
__________________________________________________________________  
**_Almost Dr Kaeden_**  
_@kaesayshey_

@tanohno Anything about this look familiar to you?  
__________________________________________________________________  
**_♥ S N I P S ♥_**  
_@tanohno_

@kaesayshey alsdkKDLDFKHLKDJF OH MY *GOD*  
__________________________________________________________________  
**_♥ S N I P S ♥_**  
_@tanohno_

NO I WAS NOT INFORMED OF THIS  
__________________________________________________________________

* * *  
_**Group Chat (Contains: (4) numbers)**_

 **Anakin:** Hey Snips, Pads, why’d you both send me the same Twitter link at like, the exact same time

 **Padmé:** Oh, I didn’t know Ahsoka sent it to you as well.

 **Padmé:** Sorry if you’ve seen it already!

 **Ahsoka:** I pmed it to you on twitter first dude

 **Ahsoka:** Not my fault you never check ur feed

 **Anakin:** You know I barely use Twitter 

**Ahsoka:** Yyyyyyeah you miiiiiight wanna rethink that after this

 **Anakin:** ????

 **Padmé:** You… don’t know?

 **Anakin:** Know WHAT exactly

 **Ahsoka:** Oh my god i dont think he knows

 **Anakin:** Guys, come on

 **Padmé:** Did you click the link yet?

 **Anakin:** No! I’m scared now, what are you two planning???

 **Ahsoka:** Omg just click it skyguy, you’ll want to see it

 **Ahsoka:** You NEED to see it.

 **Padmé:** Anakin.

 **Anakin:** Ffffffine

 **Ahsoka:** Click the link 

**Anakin:** IM CLICKING

 **Ahsoka:** It’s been five min he’s had to have watched it by now

 **Padmé:** Ani? Have you seen the video yet?

 **Ahsoka:** You’re twitter famous!

 **Padmé:** Come on, Anakin, you can’t hide. You chose to make this a public answer session when you brought it up in the group chat

 **Anakin:** Kill me

 **Anakin:** Kill me right now

 **Anakin:** What the FUCK

 **Padmé:** Ani…

 **Anakin:** No really, wha t the actual fuck. The video was only posted a couple of days ago how does it have THAT many retweets already?????

 **Ahsoka:** People like cute stuff?

 **Anakin:** That is NOT CUTE that is embarrassing and I want to die

 **Padmé:** As you’ve mentioned…

 **Ahsoka:** Ok first of all its not THAT bad and 2nd, why didn’t you tell us about this?!?!

 **Anakin:** I thought we just established I had no clue this video existed until a minute ago

 **Ahsoka:** About the guy, dork

 **Padmé:** ^^^^^^

 **Anakin:** It wasn’t a big deal?!??!?!? all the guy did was get a paper back for me

 **Ahsoka:** And scaled a literal building like some kind of ninja to do it!

 **Anakin:** I called him James Bond, actually

 **Padmé:** Wait, did you actually? To his face?

 **Anakin:** Ok look

 **Ahsoka:** That is CUTE omg that is so cute

 **Anakin:** L O O K. He was hot and British and wearing a suit and I panicked. None of this is a big deal i don’t know why you’re all freaking about it

 **Ahsoka:** Oho so you DO think he’s hot

 **Padmé:** We’re not “freaking out”, hon. It’s like the girls in the video said, you obviously liked him, why didn’t you try for his number or something? We’re just curious.

 **Anakin:** First of all those girls in the video deserve nothing from me. Thanks to them my entire moronic mopey face as I stare pathetically after him is available to the entire internet and now everyone’s calling me that annoying nickname they gave me

 **Ahsoka:** “Gay Goth Pirate”? Cuz ngl that’s kinda legendary

 **Anakin:** I hate it literally none of those words are even accurate

 **Padmé:** Okay I get the first one being wrong, but the other two seem spot on to me.

 **Anakin:** Im not goth nor am I cool enough to be a pirate as much as I would like to be

 **Anakin:** Wait, is this a joke about the hand. I mean I do still have that gag hook hanging around somewhere…

 **Ahsoka:** No

 **Ahsoka:** Ok fine, maybe it’s a little bit about the hand, but I was thinking more that you know how to rip entire seasons off of Netflix the day after they drop, don’t tell me that’s not piracy

 **Padmé:** I still don’t get how you haven’t been arrested for that yet

 **Anakin:** Cuz I’m talented and capitalism stokes my rage, Pads. and ok fine i’ll accept that I’m a pirate on multiple counts but the other two

 **Padmé:** Before I met you you had maybe two articles of clothing that weren’t a shade of black, grey, or dark red. Seems pretty goth to me

 **Ahsoka:** Ur an emo goth baby, don’t lie when your MCR playlist reveals your sins

 **Padmé:** Oh, and those pictures of the questionable hair you had?

 **Anakin:** THIS IS NOT THE PLACE TO BRING UP THE BAD DYE JOB. 

**Anakin:** And look, you heathens KNOW because I have TOLD YOU BEFORE that there is a Big Difference between emo, goth, and PUNK, which is what that music playlist is, and is what I WAS once upon a time. I’m not anymore, I just like black.

 **Anakin:** Also fuck off, that music is still good and you know it

 **Padmé:** Alright, then what would you choose for the nickname instead?

 **Anakin:** Idk, like, “????? Ex-Punk Bird Owner” idk people should mind their own business and not go around giving out random nicknames

 **Ahsoka:** How do i pronounce “?????”

 **Anakin:** Pronounced as: “Labels are stressful sometimes”

 **Ahsoka:** Ok fine, but Gay Goth Pirate flows way better so as someone who ticks all boxes I am stealing it from you if you won’t use it

 **Anakin:** You aren’t goth either??

 **Ahsoka:** I’ll make it WORK, that is the coolest nickname I’ve heard in my life and I Want It

 **Padmé:** We’re getting off topic. Nicknames aside, why didn’t you get the guy’s number?

 **Ahsoka:** YEAH or like, “oh, you saved some paper I lost, let me buy you coffee” or something

 **Anakin:** Because 1: I’m a mess and B: he is MARRIED

 **Ahsoka:** Oh??? You did not inform us he had a ring on

 **Anakin:** He didn’t, he was *getting* married. He told me he was on the way to a wedding and ran off like he had forgot and was late.

 **Padmé:** Bullshit

 **Anakin:** Padmé that is what came out of his mouth, I heard him clearly

 **Padmé:** No, I’m calling bullshit that HE was getting married. Did he tell you it was his wedding specifically or did he say it was A wedding?

 **Anakin:** I??? Don’t remember?????? He might have said “a wedding”, I feel I would have been guiltier about making him stop and scuff his nice shoes up and for flirting with him if he said it was his own?

 **Padmé:** Then it’s settled, it definitely wasn’t his own wedding

 **Ahsoka:** Ok i gotta ask how you’re so sure

 **Anakin:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 **Padmé:** Alright so first, he scuffed his shoes up. Someone’s wedding day is a special time where they want to look their absolute best, there is no way in hell he would risk his nice shoes or suit or hair by climbing a dirty building and risking scratches and dirt stains. Secondly, that suit was navy blue. Dark navy blue, close to black, but definitely blue. He’s dressed for a black tie wedding, that’s a very formal suit, and while guests and maybe some wedding party members might be able to get away with it, the groom wears a black suit.

 **Ahsoka:** Wow, I did not notice the color thing from the video, I thought it was black

 **Anakin:** Have you considered maybe in the modern age, some people are more chill about how they look for what’s essentially just a really fancy party that’s supposed to be about them anyway? Or that maybe not everyone’s as obsessive about color schemes and shit as you?

 **Padmé:** That was rude. Apologize.

 **Anakin:** Yeah, it was, sorry Pads

 **Padmé:** Thank you. As I was SAYING, thirdly, he was flirting with you. I could see it, I know. This unfortunately doesn’t mean much, but I’d like to think that someone who scaled a two story building just to get a scrap of paper for you would be honorable enough not to flirt with someone not his partner if he wasn’t single. And fourthly, he was walking. To a wedding. Alone. And you said he looked like he had almost forgotten about it. If someone’s having a wedding with that fancy an outfit, he as groom would definitely have a party of other friends he would travel there for. They would probably take a car of some sorts as to not get their clothing ruined. And he almost FORGOT about it, again! Who almost forgets about their own wedding?

 **Anakin:** Alright, Sherlock, you’ve convinced me. Maybe it wasn’t his wedding. That still doesn’t mean anything

 **Ahsoka:** Gonna hop on in here for a sec to cut you off before you start stressing about whether he’s single or if he likes guys and point to Padmé’s third point about the apparent chivalry and how he was FLIRTING with you.

 **Anakin:** I wasn’t gonna stress about that

 **Anakin:** Ok maybe i was, fine

 **Padmé:** Ani, he liked you! 

**Anakin:** So what if he did? I didn’t get his number or anything because I’m an awkward disaster who just told him he had almost killed himself to get a piece of paper that was to help with R2’s poop problems.

 **Anakin:** Now he’s gone and I’m not gonna see him again because he’s probably already seen the video and is now really embarrassed and wishes he never helped me.

 **Ahsoka:** Okay, we could think negatively like that

 **Ahsoka:** Or, if you really liked him and want to find him again, we could work together to track him down? It’s the age of the internet, he’s gotta have some social media we could look for him on. You could even go on Twitter yourself and reveal that’s you, no one’s found you yet. Everyone’s all shipping you two together, you’d definitely find him

 **Anakin:** No. I don’t want to bring him any trouble or annoy him further by bringing the whole world down on him. Also the internet is scary and I don’t wanna reveal myself like that.

 **Padmé:** That’s perfectly valid. Can we help you some other way?

 **Anakin:** You really want to help me.

 **Padmé:** You are my FRIEND, Anakin, of course. Didn’t you stay up until two in the morning with me once after I met Sabé because we were convinced she was in that one weird car commercial but I was afraid to ask her so we looked all over YouTube and Google for it to check?

 **Ahsoka:** I never knew this Padmé that is adorable

 **Anakin:** Yeah, yeah, you did. Ok, fine, you two can look around QUIETLY for him, don’t make a big deal though.

 **Padmé:** Are you sure you want us to? I don’t want to push.

 **Anakin:** Nah, I mean, no offense, but I don’t think you’ll find him. I’m curious to see what you try though.

 **Ahsoka:** Aight so that’s settled, we’re findin you ur mans

 **Anakin:** Lol ok. You are all good friends even if you bully me and I appreciate that.

 **Padmé:** We just want you to be happy, Ani.

 **Anakin:** Actually, Rex hasn’t said anything

 **Ahsoka:** Because he’s still hiking in the New Zealand wilderness with no reception, remember? He won’t be back until next week

 **Anakin:** I wish I could have gone with him. Then I wouldn’t have embarrassed myself and then maybe a bear could have eaten me.

 **Ahsoka:** Does New Zealand even have bears?

* * *  
_**Message From: Quin**_

 **Quin:** [twitter.com link]

 **Quin:** Is this you? Explain?!?

 **Obi Wan:** It is three in the fucking morning 

**Obi Wan:** You had better be dying

 **Quin:** I am dying. Dying to know if you were cheating on me with a pirate????

 **Obi Wan:** You are making no sense.

 **Obi Wan:** Text me again at a normal hour.

 **Quin:** No, no, you’re going to look at what I sent you first or I’ll call you repeatedly and thoroughly disrupt your beauty sleep

 **Obi Wan:** You are a horrible human being

 **Quin:** Block me bitch <3

 **Obi Wan:** Fine. What is it.

 **Quin:** Click the link I sent

 **Obi Wan:** It says it’s to twitter. I don’t have twitter

 **Quin:** You don’t need an account to look at it, you old, old man, come on, just look at it

 **Obi Wan:** Alright, hang on

 **Quin:** … 

**Obi Wan:** I watched it

 **Quin:** And? That’s you, right?

 **Obi Wan:** Yes. How many people have seen this

 **Quin:** Judging by the retweets a couple thousand at least. Everyone wants you to get with the goth boy. And I thought you were MY date that night :(

 **Obi Wan:** Damn. Is there any way to get the video removed?

 **Quin:** Maybe? But idk why you’d want to, you look like a a fucking badass and half the internet wants to get in your pants now.

 **Obi Wan:** I just wanted to help him, but I decided to show off like an ass and landed us both on the internet and now people are making fun of him. It’s not right, and it’s my fault he’s in this position now. He seemed stressed enough when we spoke, I don’t want to make things worse.

 **Quin:** I don’t think anyone’s making fun of either of you, bro. They’re just pointing out how he looks totally charmed by you, which is a hundred fucking percent what you were going for, don’t lie to me, I saw what you were doing. I know your moves.

 **Obi Wan:** Yes, he was very attractive. Yes, I would have liked to have done something about it. But I had to go and I didn’t have time to get his information or even figure out if he was interested.

 **Quin:** Uh. Did you see his face at the end of that video?

 **Obi Wan:** Well yes, I know that now, but I did not then.

 **Quin:** Aw, tough luck. Who knows, the internet is hunting you both down for sport atm, maybe they’ll find him first. And idk about trying to fight to get the vid taken down, if anything that’ll just reveal your identity and attract more attention.

 **Obi Wan:** I suppose you’re right. Do you think this will affect me outside the realm of Twitter?

 **Quin:** Hard to say, the internet’s weird like that. Sometimes it’ll drop something immediately, sometimes it stays forever.

 **Obi Wan:** Well, for the other man’s sake, I hope it’s dropped quickly.

 **Quin:** You’re too nice sometimes, you know that? Anyway, there’s plenty of fish in the sea

 **Quin:** Or pirates

 **Obi Wan:** I hate you and I’m going to sleep

* * *  
_**Message From: Ahsoka**_

 **Ahsoka:** Alright so I’ve got my notifs set for that particular post and wow ppl are really still trying to track you down 

**Anakin:** And the other guy

 **Ahsoka:** Oh yea they’re after your mystery man too, but they’re having even less luck with him

 **Ahsoka:** Like, five or six guys came forward pretending to be him tho

 **Anakin:** How do you know they were pretending

 **Ahsoka:** Either someone they knew popped up and called them on it, and for the ones who didn’t, I could still tell because I might have stalked their profiles and other social media and none of them were your type

 **Anakin:** How do you even know my type. I don’t have a type. I legit never fall for people. 

**Anakin:** This is so strange

 **Ahsoka:** So you’ve FALLEN for him then???

 **Anakin:** I don’t know? Maybe?!?!?!!? Idk what to do, it feels like it did when I liked Padmé, but I thought that was just an outlier? 

**Ahsoka:** Deep breaths, hon, u’ve got time. We don’t even know who he is yet

 **Anakin:** Yeah

 **Ahsoka:** I’ll keep looking?

 **Anakin:** Sure. 

**Anakin:** Hey, did anyone pretend to be me

 **Ahsoka:** …I was hoping you’d ask Hang on, I screenshot some of the wildest ones, lets make fun of em 

* * *  
_**Message From: Qui Gon**_

 **Qui Gon:** You’re out of practice

 **Obi Wan:** Beg pardon?

 **Qui Gon:** I thought I taught you how to get back down a building neater than that.

 **Obi Wan:** Oh my god.

 **Qui Gon:** And in broad daylight too? That’s risky.

 **Obi Wan:** How the hell did you see that video? You had to be practically forced at gunpoint to get a cell phone, when have you been on the internet?

 **Qui Gon:** Oh, I haven’t. But I ran into Yoda the other day and he wanted to show me a video he found on Facebook because he said it looked a bit like you and you did parkour too, and what do you know?

 **Obi Wan:** Facebook? The video was on Twitter, how did it get to Facebook?

 **Qui Gon:** You know how all of that is interconnected and trading information these days, I’ve told you.

 **Obi Wan:** Not quite sure that’s how it works.

 **Obi Wan:** And wait a minute, YODA sold me out?

 **Qui Gon:** And I’m glad he did. I realize we haven’t been running for a while, not since my accident, but you couldn’t have gotten that sloppy.

 **Obi Wan:** I resent that. It wasn’t that bad.

 **Qui Gon:** Sloppy. And in those shoes…

 **Obi Wan:** Qui Gon.

 **Qui Gon:** How long were you aching afterwards

 **Obi Wan:** That’s irrelevant.

 **Qui Gon:** I knew it. You should come over and we can practice some better tricks for you to do for your man in black the next time.

 **Obi Wan:** Don’t even start with that…

* * *  
_**Message From: Padmé**_

 **Anakin:** So yeah, that’s the story where I’m like a million percent sure people had all seen that video and have been staring at me while I walk places, even though I’ve been wearing literally every other color besides black

 **Padmé:** I don’t think that’s the case. From what I’ve seen, people still haven’t connected the video back to you or your friend yet.

 **Anakin:** Yeah, but it’s made it to other websites, apparently. It’s only a matter of time.

 **Padmé:** And that’s a problem for you now? Do you not like him?

 **Anakin:** No, no the scary thing is I think I DO. 

**Padmé:** Do you want to talk about it? I get if it’s too awkward because it’s me, but, the offer is there.

 **Anakin:** Nah, you’re fine, we’re fine. It’s like, I still remember him even though we only met for a second and I keep thinking that I want to see him again.

 **Anakin:** And that almost never happens so???

 **Padmé:** You’re worried what will happen if you do find him?

 **Anakin:** Yeah. That’s silly, I know.

 **Padmé:** No, that’s not silly at all.

* * *  
_**Message From: Satine**_

 **Obi Wan:** It’s really not a problem; I’m happy to help look it over. Is tomorrow alright to meet?

 **Satine:** Tomorrow should be fine. I promise the door will be unlocked though; you won’t need to climb a roof to get in or anything.

 **Obi Wan:** What’s that supposed to mean

 **Satine:** Oh, nothing. Just a video I saw online the other day, reminded me of you…

 **Obi Wan:** Of course you saw that too.

 **Obi Wan:** Look, I’m not above begging for once. Please have mercy, I’ve already had five different people interrogating me about it.

 **Obi Wan:** QUI GON saw it.

 **Satine:** Ha! That Luddite? He’s more afraid of computers than you are.

 **Obi Wan:** Not having social media doesn’t make one “afraid of computers”. Besides, I’m on LinkedIn for work purposes. Qui hates tech in general, and him finding out about it through someone else shows how bad this has gotten.

 **Satine:** “LinkedIn for work purposes”.

 **Obi Wan:** Yes? What?

 **Satine:** Hmm nothing. 

**Satine:** So you never climbed anything for me…

 **Obi Wan:** Ah.

 **Satine:** Relax, I’m teasing. 

**Satine:** People on the internet are saying things, though. They make it all sound so terribly romantic.

 **Obi Wan:** Are they now?

 **Satine:** Yes, and I know how you like romance, even if you won’t admit it.

 **Obi Wan:** And if I did consider it romantic?

 **Satine:** If you want to know, you should check the video yourself. People are looking for the both of you. As for me, I hope you find your pirate too. After your little display, I’m curious to see how things turn out.

 **Obi Wan:** I’m fairly sure he’s not a pirate.

 **Satine:** What’s the fun in that?

* * *  
_**Message From: Rex**_

 **Ahsoka:** All of that sounded like so much fun! What’s it like being back lol

 **Rex:** Well as soon as we got off the plane, my phone blew up with like a million and one alerts. I’ve still only made my way through half of em.

 **Rex:** I’m gonna blame you for a good part of it, the group chat with us Anakin and Padmé has at least a hundred

 **Ahsoka:** Oh yeahhhh lol sorry about that, Skyguy just became Twitter Famous(TM) and there was Much To Discuss 

**Rex:** You serious? That’s hilarious, I want to know about this.

 **Ahsoka:** Save yourself the scroll thru the group chat, just check Twitter, I sent the video evidence to u

 **Rex:** Aight

 **Rex:** Ok just saw it, that’s fuckin wild

 **Ahsoka:** Right???

 **Ahsoka:** Don’t bug Anakin about it tho, he actually really liked the guy and he’s annoyed that everyone’s calling him a gay goth pirate

 **Rex:** Oh no, I wasn’t gonna. I meant it was wild because the guy in the suit reminded me a lot of this one mate of Cody’s.

 **Ahsoka:** Lol really? Maybe we should set them up

 **Rex:** Ha. He certainly holds his drink better than Skywalker, I’ve met him at a couple get togethers for drinks. He’s funny, good at pub trivia. 

**Ahsoka:** Cool cool 

**Rex:** Once showed up at our door at like midnight during a blizzard with a bloody police escort and Cody over his shoulder cos some bar they were at had the cops called b/c someone else was doin some illegal shite and they wanted to talk to everyone, but Cody and Obi Wan don’t know how this kinda run in will look for green card holders like they both are, so while fairly smashed, this guy convinces Cody to escape out the bathroom window, gets em chased by a cop who catches them leavin, manages to avoid said cop for like multiple blocks, and when they’re finally caught he throws Cody over his shoulder and convinces em that they aren’t the guys they’re looking for, they’re just out in a fucking blizzard because they’re from the local ballet “endurance training” out in the snow. Somehow the police BELIEVE him and offer to escort em both home cos the storm is getting worse

 **Ahsoka:** LMAO

 **Ahsoka:** Ok I waited a While for that text bubble and oh my god that was worth it. Im dying, this guy is wild

 **Rex:** Right?!

 **Rex:** So yea its funny he looks a bit like the suit in that video

 **Ahsoka:** Truly. You really should bring him and Cody around sometime like fr. He seems fun and I think we’d all get along

 **Rex:** Yeah I’ll consider it. Could be fun.

* * *  
_**Message From: Cody**_

 **Cody:** Oh I already saw that vid you sent lol

 **Cody:** I got a funny story actually

 **Rex:** Is it that the suit fellow looks like ur friend Obi Wan?

 **Cody:** Bro that IS my friend Obi Wan

 **Rex:** ……..

 **Rex:** You shittin me rn?

 **Cody:** Completely serious

 **Cody:** And I was just gonna say I thought it was funny because that’s my dumbass friend, and the pirate bro looks kind of like YOUR one dumbass friend

 **Rex:** IT IS MY DUMBASS FRIEND

 **Cody:** You know, the guy who did the handstand at that party until his actual hand fell off and he smacked his face and got a nosebleed

 **Cody:** Wait actually ?

 **Rex:** Yes that is Anakin. Also you know his name???

 **Cody:** Yeah but my way of remembering him is funnier

 **Rex:** Fair enough

 **Cody:** But bro holy shit talk about coincidences

 **Rex:** Coincidences? The entire internet is looking for them rn and we’re apparently the only ones who know the both of them that is wild

 **Cody:** We should let them meet

 **Rex:** Pfff since when are you a romantic?

 **Cody:** What no, I meant because Obi Wans been kicking himself over it all week, feels like he embarrassed the both of them and wants to find the other guy to apologize 

**Cody:** Also do not tell your guy this, but mine actually kinda liked him for real.

 **Rex:** Did you see the video? Mine liked yours too.

 **Cody:** Oh damn. 

**Cody:** What do we do with that kind of power?

 **Rex:** Introduce them, like you said?

 **Cody:** Ugh but now that I know there’s mutual feelings involved, this could go badly

 **Cody:** I don’t do this kind of thing

 **Rex:** Me neither but what other options do we have?

 **Rex:** We can’t just NOT tell them, that’s basically lying

 **Cody:** Yeah you’re right we can’t

 **Cody:** But how the hell do we do this neatly?

 **Rex:** Some of our other friends are actively looking for Obi Wan for Anakin, I could just let slip to them, they could tell him

 **Cody:** Idk

 **Rex:** yeah idk either.

 **Rex:** I wish we could just get them to meet themselves somehow

 **Cody:** Hang on

 **Cody:** Now this borders into fucking meddler territory and I kinda highkey hate myself for it, but 

**Cody:** I think I have an idea.

* * *

“Why are you making that face?” Obi Wan asked Cody as they exited the car and made their way down the street to to entrance of the bar. “We don’t have to go out tonight if you don’t wish to, but this is the third time I’ve caught you with a sour lemons face when you thought I wasn’t looking. Are you feeling well?”

Cody grunted, hands stuffed in his pockets and looking straight at his shoes. “‘M fine,” he said in the tone of voice he always used when attempting to lie atrociously. “Just remembering something I have to do that I don’t really want to.”

Obi Wan blinked, ready to press his concerns; Cody had been acting off all evening since he had arrived to pick Obi Wan up to go for drinks with his brother and a friend, but Cody stopped suddenly, snapping his fingers with a dismayed noise when they were almost to the door. “Ah, I forgot.”

“Forgot what?”

“The parking meter.” Cody shot an annoyed look back in the direction of the car and then another glance at the door of the bar, still, Obi Wan noticed, refusing to meet his eyes. “Hey, if you go back and pay the meter, I’ll go on ahead and buy the first round of drinks for all of us, is that cool? Cool, thanks mate,” he said before Obi Wan could even respond, slapping him on the shoulder and jogging off towards the bar, leaving Obi Wan to stand there in confusion for a moment before sighing and turning back for the car, resolving to pester Cody further about his strange behavior if it persisted into the evening

His back turned, he didn’t see Cody sticking his hood up and walking into the bar with his head lowered inconspicuously.

* * *

After checking his phone for the umpteenth time that night, Rex stood up from their spot abruptly. “I’ve gotta take a leak, can you wait outside for Cody and his friend to show up? I think they’re almost here.”

“I knew you weren’t feeling well!” Anakin accused, his friend having been behaving oddly all evening, nervous and jumpy and distracted. 

“I’m feeling fine, just go wait for them,” Rex insisted, pushing at his shoulder until Anakin raised his hands in surrender and made his way for the door, Rex watching him insistently for a few steps before turning and hightailing it to the bathrooms. Anakin hoped he could get whatever was itching him out of his system; he hadn’t seen his friend in a while and wanted to spend time with him.

Brushing by a guy with his hood pulled practically over his eyes, Anakin leaned on the wall next to the outside door, wishing he had gotten a solid description out of Rex of what this guy looked like rather than just “British” and an entertaining story about the police and ballet.

Distracted and deciding to just let Cody notice him, Anakin decided to instead just fidget with his prosthetic and secure it tighter, having chosen to put on the more alien-looking electric practical one over the more lifelike decorative one in favor of being able to move drinks and maybe play pool easier despite potentially damaging a very expensive design if he got into drunken antics. He trusted Rex would be able to keep an eye on him.

Not looking up, Anakin aimlessly shifted off the wall and directly into someone walking towards the door, colliding with an “oof” and instantly reaching out to steady them. He looked up and promptly froze upon meeting the startled crystal blue eyes of the hot guy who climbed a building and started the entire mess of Anakin’s last week.

* * *  
Obi Wan was busy thinking about whether he had put the right coins in the parking meter, so knocking straight into a solid body startled him more than normal. A pair of hands came up to balance him, and grabbing for support, Obi Wan was surprised to find the unyielding give of what felt and looked like plastic attached to one hand.

A startled sound drew Obi Wan’s attention up to the stranger’s face and Obi Wan found himself abruptly sharing a gape with none other than Grey Bird Man himself, sans the bird or billowing black ensemble. Instead he was in dark jeans, what looked like a faded grey band teeshirt, and a dark brown leather bomber jacket that looked both authentic and well-loved. Despite the lack of gothic style, he was possibly even more attractive than in Obi Wan’s memories.

The other man once more spoke first, hastily removing his— strong —arms from Obi Wan’s person. “My name’s not Gay Pirate Man, I’m saying that right now. I mean yeah I’ve got the parrot and the missing hand,” here the man waved his fake arm in Obi Wan’s face for emphasis. “But, I’ve got a name. A real one. Hi, I’m Anakin, and I’m doing this completely backwards. Nice to meet you?”

Grimacing adorably— fuck, he was just as adorable as Obi Wan remembered —Anakin stuck out his flesh hand for Obi Wan to shake, and gripping it, Obi Wan abruptly remembered the story Cody told of his brother’s friend being an amputee whose arm fell off at a memorable party. His brother’s friend named Anakin.

_No way…_

“After the first impression I gave you, you could hardly make our circumstances more backwards,” Obi Wan stressed, shaking his hand and resisting the urge to run his thumb over rough knuckles. Then, just to confirm, “I’m Obi Wan. You wouldn’t happen to know the Fett twins, would you?”

The widening of Anakin’s eyes at Obi Wan’s name had solidified his suspicions, but at the mention of Rex and Cody, he gasped dramatically. “No. _You_ are Cody’s friend?”

Obi Wan laughed. Of all the luck. “I’ve known him for years. Well enough to know he’s a shit liar, come to think of it; I should have guessed something was up from the way he was acting tonight.”

Anakin laughed too. He had a lovely laugh, Obi Wan realized. “Same with me and Rex on all accounts, including the lying! He all but shoved me out the door just now to wait for you two while he ran off to the bathroom.”

“Cody hurried on ahead and made me stay back to pay the parking meter,” Obi Wan replied, still reeling at the apparent set up. Out of all his friends, quiet, no-nonsense Cody who hadn’t as much as mentioned the Twitter video— save for one quick text to confirm if the man in the video was Obi Wan since it happened —was probably the least likely person Obi Wan would expect to actually track down and find the mystery man Obi Wan had made an entire production out of helping.

“Oh my god, that’s so—“ Anakin broke off, handsome face twisting into a pout. “Shit, I don’t think Rex or I paid the meter either. I literally got my car back from repairs yesterday, I don’t want a ticket already. I’m going to…”

He gestured over his shoulder down the street and Obi Wan immediately jumped in with, “Care if I walk with you?”

 _Please stop shamelessly throwing yourself at this poor man, it isn’t a good look on you,_ he snapped at himself as Anakin’s face lit up again with that small smile Obi Wan loved to see.

“Sure you can come along,” Anakin said, eyes flickering playfully. “You really are about being polite, aren’t you?”

Obi Wan winced, fearing his dramatic actions on the roof had been false advertising. “I’m actually a bit of a bastard, to be completely honest,” he admitted as they started walking down the street. “Just a warning.”

Another delightful barking laugh. “That’s perfect, actually, so am I. I guess that means we can get along.”

“Well I’d hope so; I’d hate to think my efforts to retrieve that paper were in vain,” Obi Wan joked, quickly regretting it when Anakin’s face fell. He hurried to correct, stopping them and grabbing for Anakin’s nearest hand that happened to be his prosthetic. They both froze, Obi Wan not sure if that was offensive or not, but a dark blush stained its way across Anakin’s cheekbones and he didn’t try to remove his limb, so Obi Wan kept his grip and continued. “No, actually, I’m happy I found you so I could apologize for that whole scene.”

Pretty blue eyes blinked. “Apologize? Why?”

Obi Wan was confused. Was he really not upset? He seemed repulsed at the idea of Obi Wan thinking of him as “Gay Goth Pirate Man”. “My actions the day we met were overdramatic and unnecessary,” he said solemnly. “I turned us both into a spectacle and now there are strangers online saying things about you when you didn’t ask for any of this. I apologize if I caused you any difficulties.”

Anakin’s face was emotionless for a moment long enough for Obi Wan to worry, before melting into another shy smile. “That’s sweet of you, and I appreciate that,” he told Obi Wan, and there was that spark of mischief again. “But first of all, it’s really not your fault; those people were filming me and my weird parrot getup before you even showed up; I would have ended up on the internet with the goofy nickname regardless. Secondly, what you did was ho…ah _badass,_ majorly so. I’m super glad I got to see that.”

Obi Wan did Not miss that slip-up and flush combination, thank you. This was interesting. This necessitated further investigation. Obi Wan took a risk and sidled closer to Anakin as they walked, letting their arms brush. Anakin to his credit only faltered for a moment, stumbling as he raised the prosthetic to his head and scratched. “Is there a third point?” Obi Wan teased.

Another shy smile. “Well yeah, uh, I was just gonna say that, that the internet isn’t exactly being _mean_ to us or anything, I mean the pirate thing is kinda annoying but really…” His voice lowered so Obi Wan had to strain to hear the next part. “Really, it just seems like the internet wants us to date.”

Obi Wan felt his mouth curl into a smirk. “Really now?”

“Yeah,” the other man mumbled, still not meeting his eyes. “ _I’ll_ apologize for that if you want, it was probably my fault for giving off impressions, you even said you were going to a wedding—“

“Definitely not my wedding,” Obi Wan cut in firmly, making it clear. “I’m not seeing anyone, so internet rumors don’t trouble me. I actually found it rather flattering.”

He was slightly worried he was coming on too strong, but now Anakin’s gaze was flicking to meet his again, pink tongue flicking out between curved lips. “I mean, I don’t have a problem with it either, really. I mean, do they have to be rumors?”

 _Oh, he’s brave…_ Obi Wan let their brushing arms link just slightly. “We don’t even know each other,” he pointed out, nudging Anakin playfully.

He was met with a bright smile. “We’re getting to that part now, aren’t we?”

Obi Wan couldn’t help but smile in return. “So we are. Well the first question I must ask then in regards to our getting to know each other has to be the parrot. Why the parrot, exactly?”

Anakin’s laugh this time was more awkwardly nervous. “Well, ah, funny story. I’m gonna just jump right in and break the ‘no talking about your ex on the first date’ rule—“

Obi Wan couldn’t help it. “This is a date?”

Anakin went bright red and swatted at his shoulder. “Shush! As I was _saying,_ I have to mention my ex-girlfriend because she was the one who showed up at my door at eleven at night with a scruffy bird she literally stole from some shady guy on the street who tried to sell him to her because she was sure he was an illegal pet seller…”

* * *  
Anakin was positive they hadn’t been gone from the bar longer than twenty minutes. He was sure of it.

When he and Obi Wan had gotten to the meter to pay it, they had already laughed over R2’s origin story, and were now comparing a shared interest in martial arts. Obi Wan had complimented Anakin’s painstakingly maintained old car that he of course had to go into detail about when Obi Wan seemed actually interested, mentioning an older motorbike he himself gained from the man who had taught him parkour, but didn’t know exactly how to fix it up. Mechanic talk led to Anakin showing the car’s features off and eventually his prosthetic prototype itself that he had been working on designing to make it more adaptable.

Anakin wasn’t _too_ sure where the conversation had gone after that, but Obi Wan had been moving closer and closer to him, and if Anakin thought he looked nice in a suit, that was nothing compared to the beaten black leather jacket and tight jeans he was sporting now.

Anyhow, Anakin had no impulse control and apparently Obi Wan didn’t either because at some point they had ended up making out like teenagers against his car hood, Anakin’s slight few centimeters of height advantage no longer relevant as he was pressed back against the car with Obi Wan’s strong arms around him. Anakin was perfectly fine with this development, and was rather enjoying the hand in his hair and the tongue tangling with his own, when once more they were interrupted by the sound of Obi Wan’s phone.

Obi Wan drew back with a disgruntled hum, looking rather flustered to Anakin’s enjoyment that was quickly soured by the reminder that this was the second time Obi Wan’s phone had interrupted them. 

_”Again?”_ Anakin was a little disappointed in himself for the whiny tone, but he felt like he deserved it a bit, given the circumstances. 

Obi Wan gave him a devastatingly apologetic smile and switched the hand in Anakin’s hair to soothing strokes which, okay, acceptable, Anakin would accept this. “I would ignore it, but this is Cody’s ringtone and we do have a prior commitment, unfortunately…”

Anakin couldn’t help the snicker of “Oh my god, you seriously have personalized ringtones for everyone—“ but Obi Wan was already taking his phone out of his hind pocket and answering it, putting it on speaker. 

“Yes, Cody?” Fuck, his voice was raspy. 

Anakin couldn’t resist trailing his one hand teasingly up his sides. Obi Wan’s hand still in his hair tightened. That was nice. Anakin did it again.

“Uh, hey, so, you still coming in?” Cody’s voice sounded gruff and slightly uncomfortable. “I saw you run into Rex’s friend at the door—“

“I didn’t see—“ Anakin tried to speak up, getting distracted by Obi Wan’s other hand playing with his collar near his neck.

“—and the two of you walk off,” Cody continued.

Obi Wan let out a breathy chuckle. “Yes, well, funny enough, we found we had something quite interesting in common. Anything you’d like to share with the class?”

A heavy sigh breathed over the line. That was Rex. “Look. We found out by accident, and we knew we’d both feel guilty if we didn’t tell you two, but also we weren’t exactly sure how to introduce you, so we figured we’d let you introduce yourselves. We figured you wouldn’t be too pissed, and considering how long you’ve been gone…”

Anakin did Not appreciate that suggestive trail off. “I was showing Obi Wan my car!” he protested hotly, ignoring Obi Wan’s face still perilously close to his own and those bright eyes glittering devilishly as he leaned in to brush his nose against Anakin’s in a soft laugh.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure you were showing how all the parts worked.” Anakin was rather pleased to see Obi Wan being the one to go wide eyed and inelegantly fumble the phone. Anakin, in a feat of unrepeatable dexterity, caught it on the top of his boot.

Obi Wan gave him a hot look of impression.

Okay, maybe Anakin was going to need to learn how to repeat it.

Ever so slowly, Obi Wan knelt down at his feet in a semblance of how he had landed that building stunt the last time, and picked the phone off his foot, fingers brushing his ankle. 

Anakin was _not_ going to let his leg spasm and kick him in the face.

“We’ll be right back, you two,” Obi Wan promised. “And truly, thank you for introducing us.”

“Yeah, well…” Obi Wan heard the blended mumblings of awkward Fett noises. “Hurry up back, we haven’t ordered anything yet because we were waiting for you.”

“You got it,” Anakin laughed, taking a risk and plucking the phone out of Obi Wan’s hands to hang up himself. Obi Wan raised his brows, taking the phone back, and Anakin couldn’t resist going in for another kiss because, come on, he was _right there_.

Obi Wan accepted briefly, a soft caressing press of lips together before drawing back, the tingles of him finally withdrawing his hand from Anakin’s hair running all the way down his body. “We do need to get back to our friends,” Obi Wan pointed out.

“Yeah,” Anakin agreed and shit, his voice wasn’t much better. His lips were probably swollen and Rex was going to poke all the fun in the world at him, let alone the storm that would erupt once he told Ahsoka and Padmé.

Obi Wan ran a last hand down Anakin’s general person, smoothing wrinkled clothing and adjusting collars before stepping back with a proffered hand. “Shall we?”

Anakin smirked back. “‘Not polite”, my ass.” But he reached out and let Obi Wan grasp his hand. His false hand. Not many people did that, and something about Obi Wan doing it so casually felt… _really_ nice.

The minute Obi Wan’s fingers closed around his, something rose in the back of Anakin’s throat and he paused as Obi Wan began to lead them away from the car. “Wait.”

Obi Wan turned to look at him, so concerned already like he could sense the apprehension in Anakin’s voice. 

Anakin pushed forward, forcing the words out that wanted to remain trapped behind his teeth. “I don’t… usually do this. Dating. People. It’s not like _this_ for me all that often. This is different. This is new. I’m trying something new.”

Obi Wan didn’t rush to mindlessly reassure him, which Anakin appreciated. He took his time, cocking his head and staring pensively at Anakin. Anakin tried not to squirm under the direct eye contact. 

Finally, Obi Wan said, “is the ah, the _this_ you’re speaking of between us, do you think it’s a good thing?”

Anakin surprised himself with the quickness of his own response, but he waited before saying it to give Obi Wan that same semblance of consideration for the question. “Yes,” he admitted eventually, butterflies taking flight in his gut at the voicing of it. “Yeah, I think this is a good thing.”

Obi Wan broke into another one of those smiles. Too many of them and Anakin might actually die. He’d die happy, he thought. 

“Well in that case,” said Obi Wan. “It never hurts to try something new and exciting. It may be frightening and uncertain, but that’s the case for anything when venturing into the unknown.” He slowly began to guide Anakin back to the bar again, back to their friends. “Take it from me. I wasn’t always scaling buildings. I saw something, thought that it would make a decent adventure. I started at the beginning, small steps, and took it from there.”

Anakin snorted, jerking his head back to the car they were walking from. “I don’t know if you’d consider that a ‘small step’.”

Obi Wan stopped them, drew in close, and kissed Anakin lightly on the cheek. “How about we move at our own pace then?”

Anakin daringly raised their joined hands and kissed along the knuckles clutching his prosthetic, enjoying the way Obi Wan’s eyes darkened. “I could do that.” 

* * *  
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♥ Padmé XO rEx and 3k others liked:  
_**panickin**_  
_@skyyyguyyy_

Oh yeah, throwback to someone filming the first time I meant my boyfriend and the enTIRE INTERNET coming for our asses… #happysixmonthsbabe #idkhowtoworktwitter #imtoopretty

> _**galaxies away… (✓)**_ _@Spectral_Owl_
> 
> Y’all we just wanted to film the guy in black walking around wi…

_**400** Retweets **3K** Likes_  
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**  
_panickin_   
**   
_@skyyyguyyy_  
Replying to _@skyyyguyyy and @Spectral_Owl_

So yeah you folks all won, we’re dating rn <3

[Posted two images]

[Image 1 Description: Obi Wan balanced on a high concrete wall like a cat, arm extended to Anakin, who is nervously reaching out and walking to meet him halfway. They’re both staring at each other, Anakin’s eyes narrowed and mouth opened like he’s saying something snarky to Obi Wan, Obi Wan’s mouth open in laughter at whatever Anakin just said.]

[Image 2 Description: Close up selfie inside a home. Obi Wan is in front of the camera with a disgruntled expression, looking upwards to where R2-D2 the parrot is perched on his head. Anakin is taking the picture while leaning his head and cheek onto Obi Wan’s shoulder with his partially smushed face in a goofy smile.]  
__________________________________________________________________  
**_panickin_** _@skyyyguyyy_  
Replying to _@skyyyguyyy and @Spectral_Owl_

I’m not a gay goth pirate tho. FIrst of all, it’s punk, not goth. Get your facts straight.  
__________________________________________________________________  
**_panickin_** _@skyyyguyyy_  
Replying to _@skyyyguyyy and @Spectral_Owl_

Pfffff ok so it’s been like a day and a buzzfeed journalist already DMed me about this the fuck?  
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**_Almost Dr Kaeden_**  
_@kaesayshey_

@tanohno  
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**_♥ S N I P S ♥_**  
_@tanohno_

@kaesayshey hhhHHHHHH  
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**_♥ S N I P S ♥_**  
_@tanohno_

@skyyyguyyy ok how is it that whenever u do something to put ur entire self on blast here i am the LAST person to know about it my girlfriend should not have to update me on your nonsense only after the buzz feed vultures have found you  
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**_panickin_**  
_@skyyyguyyy_

@tanohno DW i have a boyfriend already ;)  
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**_♥ S N I P S ♥_**  
_@tanohno_

@skyyyguyyy yes i KNOW that and now so does everyone else  
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**_♥ S N I P S ♥_**  
_@tanohno_

@skyyyguyyy dork <3  
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**_panickin_**  
_@skyyyguyyy_

@tanohno <3 <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> I don't use The Tweeter so I have exactly no clue what constitutes a "viral tweet" so I kinda guessed at it. I also don't know if parrots can have blackberries or not besides what Google told me. Please take care of your pets as guided by the advice of a qualified veterinary professional! Also pls don't try and scale buildings unless you have proper training!
> 
> hooooly SHIT formatting this thing was a bitch and a half, I really hope it's worth it, I am Not Technologically Inclined
> 
> Anywho, I hope everyone liked it, please tell me what you thought down in the comments OR come say hi to me on **Tumblr** at my Star Wars Sideblog, [@twilightofthe](https://twilightofthe.tumblr.com/)


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